Adai bande :)

Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"'

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots. I have taught them to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will also learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots. Immediately, the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, Jack. Our prayers have been answered!"

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?'

To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she
would break him out of this crazy habit.So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild,
screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband
was holding a battery-operated
pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real
one. She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how
could you be lying to me all ofthese years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the
eyes and says calmly,

"I'll explain the toy . .. . you explain
the kids."

Holy Soap

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they
realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to
get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and
heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns
heading his way.

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall
and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun could not resist and suddenly reaches out and pulls on his
manhood.

Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

'Oh look ' says the first nun, 'it's a soap dispenser'.

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his
manhood.

Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap..

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls
once, then twice and three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more fast tugs, then yells...
'Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND LOTION TOO!!!!!!!!

For all those who love their bosses..........

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE BEFORE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS,
DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

He replied,
"I'm sorry, I don't mean any disrespect, but I just love hearing it..."

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Sexy ATM